Kate main reason people are bullied. Some people might
Kate WensloffComp 1/ Jones Hr. 7Problem-Solution Essay14 December 2017IntroductionBullying has affected everyone at some point in their lives. Everyone has either been the victim or the bully. The reason this is such a common problem is that it is in human nature to bully. Competition is one of the main reason people are bullied. Some people might correlate bullying with Charles Darwin’s theory of natural selection. Natural selection is the process of passing on the genes that give the next generation the best chance of survival. Humans are always trying to be the best, because of only the best survive. We have never believed in equality, it has always been a utopian moral. This is why the Soviet Union didn’t work. And why communism doesn’t work and capitalist countries prevail. People have recently started to notice the magnitude of the bullying problem in high schools, but it has always been there. Bullying negatively affects everyone involved. In order to stop bullying, we have to Problem Bullying is so ingrained in every level of society it is going to be difficult to find a way to mitigate the problem. The website kidshealth.org has an article called, “Dealing with Bullies.” Kidshealth.org says, “Bullies can be both guys and girls. Bullies may be outgoing and aggressive or a bully can appear reserved on the surface, but may try to manipulate people in subtle, deceptive ways, like anonymously starting a damaging rumor just to see what happens. Many bullies share some common characteristics. They like to dominate others and are generally focused on themselves.” They often have poor social skills and poor social judgment. Sometimes they have no feelings of empathy or caring toward other people. Although most bullies think have the right to push people around, others are actually insecure. They put other people down to make themselves feel more interesting or powerful. Some bullies act the way they do because they’ve been hurt by bullies in the past, maybe even a bullying figure in their own family, like a parent or other adult. Some bullies actually have personality disorders that don’t allow them to understand normal social emotions like guilt, empathy, compassion, or remorse. These people need help from a mental health professional like a counselor, social worker, psychiatrist, or psychologist.Children see movies about bullies. In the movies, bullies are often portrayed as popular and have lots of friends. The bullies are often pretty, have all the best stuff and always get all the guys or girls. Movies teach children that if they are the popular ones they are expected to bully. Children also see how horribly some adults treat other adults in the day to day life and they see that it is ok to be rude and that is the only way to get what you want. Children take note of the way other children act just as much as they see how adults act. They see the cool group only hanging out with people like them, so kids change how they act just to get into these exclusive group. All these negative influences teach children that it is acceptable to treat people with little to no respect. I have talked with many teachers and they have all told me the amount of disrespect they endure from students has been rapidly increasing in the past couple of years. This is because the busy society we live in forces parents to ship their kids off to daycares as soon as the kids are old enough. Parents don’t have the time to spend with their kids and teach them right from wrong. They learn at the daycares where there are up to twenty other kids also under the supervision of the daycare provider. The one on one time is not there. James Allen Fox says in his article, “Social and Cultural Causes of Bullying,” “The more impatient we are with each other, the more intolerant we are of others’ views, beliefs, or nuances, the more intolerant our children learn to be with each other. Children with a shorter fuse for annoyance and more intolerance towards others are more likely to bully.” Children miss out valuable lessons because no one has the time to devote to them. ” The spirit of schadenfreude (pleasure derived by someone from another person’s misfortune) is alive and well in American culture, and it appears from our perspective at least that the tendency to harshly judge and harshly condemn is growing worse day by day. We’ve created a culture that crucifies people for making mistakes. Having followed social issues for quite some time, I can tell you this general aura of condemnation has skyrocketed throughout culture in the past decade or two.” Says Fox. Our culture is very unforgiving when people make mistakes. When someone makes a mistake we will not let them forget it. It becomes who a person is and they get taunted about it. Children see this and follow the examples set for them. There are two things that have contributed to the increase of awareness to the bullying problem. They are technology and helicopter parents. Technology has made it obvious that there are severe cases of bullying everywhere. According to ABC News, “Nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying, and 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullying.” The most severe cases of bullying can result in death. Jim Goad has compiled fifteen stories on Thought Catalog in an article called “15 Teen Bullying Cases with a Tragic Ending.” Goad’s third story says: “In September of 2013 at the age of 12, Rebecca Sedwick jumped to her death from atop an abandoned cement silo in Florida. Police who investigated her suicide uncovered abusive messages directed at Rebecca from a group of about fifteen girls at her local school. The girls had apparently been spurred by jealousy over Rebecca’s former involvement with a local boy. These messages included “Why are you still alive?” and “Go kill yourself.” Investigators also discovered that Rebecca’s online search history included phrases such as “how many over-the-counter drugs do you take to die?” “what is overweight for a 13-year-old girl?” “how to get blades out of razors,” and “what not to say to a cutter.” Rebecca had previously been hospitalized—and subsequently harassed—for slitting her wrists. She eventually changed one of her online screen names to “That Dead Girl” and made a screensaver that showed her with her head lying on a railroad track. One of her final acts before jumping to her death from the cement silo was to message a 12-year-old boy to say: I’m jumping, I can’t take it anymore. Upon learning of Rebecca’s suicide, 14-year-old Guadalupe Shaw-the alleged ringleader of the “Mean Girls” gang allied against Rebecca-posted the following on Facebook: “Yes ik I bullied REBECCA nd she killed her self but IDGAF.” Shaw and a 12-year-old accomplice were arrested and charged with aggravated stalking.”Technology has created a world where people are always connected and in contact. Before technology children could go home and get away, but now the bullies can torment through the use of social media. Virtually everyone over the age of ten uses social media. The use of the internet to bully is known as cyberbullying. Cyber Bullying includes sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content about someone else. It can include sharing personal or private information about someone else causing embarrassment or humiliation. Some cyberbullying crosses the line into unlawful or criminal behavior. With the prevalence of social media, comments, photos, posts, and content shared by individuals can often be viewed by strangers as well as acquaintances. The content an individual shares online – both their personal content as well as any negative, mean, or hurtful content – creates a kind of permanent public record of their views, activities, and behavior. This public record can be thought of as an online reputation, which may be accessible to schools, employers, colleges, clubs, and others who may be researching an individual now or in the future. Cyberbullying can harm the online reputations of everyone involved, not just the person being bullied, but those doing the bullying or participating in it. The other thing that has brought bullying into the spotlight is helicopter parents. These are overprotective parents that take excess interest in their child’s life. Helicopter parents are involved with every aspect of their child’s life. So if there is an issue with bullies or situations that make their child the victim, parents will do everything in their power to fix the problem right away instead of letting their child handle it. This is another story reported by Jim Goad. He reports,”Since the age of eight, this girl from the American heartland had expressed a desire to kill herself. She was plied with antidepressants and antipsychotics, the urges continued. At age 13, she was approached on MySpace by a “Josh Evans” who claimed he lived in a nearby town and didn’t have a phone. They formed an online “relationship,” and Megan seemed enchanted by him. But gradually Josh turned on her. He said he’d heard rumors she was “not very nice” to her friends and that he had second thoughts about staying friends with her. Josh made some of their private exchanges public. His final message to her: Everybody in O’Fallon Missouri knows who you are. You are a bad person and everybody hates you. Have a shitty rest of your life. The world would be a better place without you. Megan’s response: You’re the kind of boy a girl would kill herself over. Twenty minutes later she was found hanging by a belt in her bedroom closet. As police investigated the case, it became evident that “Josh Evans” never existed. His account was a phony one that had been set up by Lori Drew, mother of a female schoolmate of Megan’s who lived a mere four doors down from her. Lori fabricated the “Josh Evans” persona to harass Megan and extract gossip from her. She and an 18-year-old girl named Ashley Grills alternated sending messages as “Josh.” Lori Drew originally denied creating the account, then later admitted it while trivializing it as a “joke.” It was later revealed that Ashley Grills had sent the final “The world would be a better place without you” message.”The Family Education Network quotes Ohio State University associate professor of child and adolescent psychiatry, Dr. Hiasako M. Koizumi, who explains that the helicopter mom “interferes with normal child development. She manages their environment to the extent that she prevents them from learning how to handle stress, inhibits healthy exploration, denies the growth of autonomy, limits self-confidence, and nurtures socially isolated and inadequate teenagers.” This creates children that are hypersensitive to the world. They don’t know how to deal with their own problem, so they resort to tattling and expect the teacher to baby them as the parents would. Helicopter parents bully other adults such as parents, teachers, coaches and anyone else who they feel is the cause of their child not having the best grades or not being recognized more than other children. They hover when their child spends the night at a friend’s house when their children go off to summer camp or on a school field trip. Even when not physically with their child, helicopter mom is still there hovering. Bullying has a negative effect on both the victim and bully. Stopbullying.gov says in the article, “Effects of Bullying” “Victims often develop mental health issues like low self-esteem, stress, depression, and anxiety. They also experience increased feelings of sadness and loneliness, changes in sleep and eating patterns, and loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy.” These issues may persist into adulthood. Decreased academic achievement, GPA and standardized test score, and school participation is often a symptom. They are more likely to miss, skip, or drop out of school. They often have suicidal thoughts. Bullying is violence and violence leads to more violence later on. A very small number of bullied children might retaliate through extremely violent measures. In 12 of 15 school shooting cases in the 1990s, the shooters had a history of being bullied. But they are not the only ones with increased susceptibility to violence. It is estimated that one in four elementary school bullies will have a criminal record by the time they are thirty. They are more likely to abuse alcohol and other drugs in adolescence and as adults, get into fights, vandalize property, and drop out of school. Higher percentages engage in early sexual activity, have criminal convictions and traffic citations as adults and are abusive be abusive toward their romantic partners, spouses, or children as adults.Solution First and foremost, it is important to identify what bullying behaviors are. We also have to create consequences for the behavior we do consider bullying and it has to sever enough to deter the child from the negative behavior. There are many students that will report they were bullied just to get someone in trouble. There are also students who have a very thin skin. They are hypersensitive to the comments everyone makes. This makes them a target for actual bullying. One way to fix this might be to teach children how to stand up for themselves. Many bullies bully out of fear. By teaching kids to stand up for themselves, they eliminate the fear factor. This takes away some if not all of the bullies power. You can teach kids to stand up for themselves either with their words or their actions.Another solution that works well is encouraging students to be upstanders by student or adult lead anti-bullying assemblies. I have been apart of anti-bullying assemblies at my school for the past four years. These assemblies are meant to show students what a victim and a bully feel like. Try to get them to empathize or at least just respect both side of the situation. When kids gain a mutual respect for each other At these assemblies we do little skits and one year I was the bully in the skit. After the skit was over, we were in the hallway with the little kids and a young boy came up to me. He poked my side to get my attention and starts shaking his finger at me. “You know that you’re not very nice,” He said. I tried to explain to him that it was all fake and that the victim was actually one of my friends. He wasn’t satisfied with that answer, so he made me go apologize and give the victim a hug. That really made me realize how much kids actually learn from the little things older kids do and at a young age, they do know what is right and wrong. It is best to try to get to teach children how to treat each other when they are young and impressionable. Young children will learn by example, so creating a positive environment with older students or adults showing them how to treat people might be a way to teach positive social skills. There are often groups within a community or school that put on events that are geared toward creating positive environments for children. Our school has a group called Team EPIC. EPIC is planning a series of community events throughout the winter that gives kids an opportunity to have fun with their friends in a safe way. Team Epic also makes itself known in the school. We visit classrooms and present on various topics like: drug and alcohol awareness, opioid and tobacco addiction, internet safety, and bullying prevention. We spread the message that we choose to have fun with our friends without the use of those things.It is going to be hard to implement ideas in schools because kids are only there part of the time. In order for good habits to develop children need to hear a unanimous message. If the parents don’t enforce the good behaviors like the teachers are trying to, nothing will ever happen. Educating parents on all forms of bullying would be beneficial in trying to combat the amount of bullying. Most parents do know what bullying looks like, but they don’t know the correct way to teach their child to deal with it. A way to educate parents would be providing them with an educational video or meeting that the parent could attend with their child.Parents should really think about what age children should be allowed to have a cell phone or other electronic devices. Young kids don’t have the common sense or the self-control to resist posting negative comments when everyone else is doing so. Parents should be monitoring what their child is posting and partaking in on social media. Parents should enforce the age limits on social media. Most social media require app users to be at least eighteen, but everyone gets around that by lying about their age. Helicopter parents are a huge part of the reason some students bully. They see their parents push people around to get what they want. This is not ok. What is ok is that children make mistakes. They learn from them instead of having a hovering parent “protecting” them from living a normal life. Children who learn from mistakes and who learn to make decisions on their own are more likely to develop positive self-esteem and not grow up with a sense of entitlement or lack of confidence. Parents just need to know its ok to let their kids fail. They are not always going to be there to fix everything and when they aren’t there the child will have no idea how to function. Conclusion Bullying has been and always be around. It is part of human nature, but the magnitude and the severity needs to be dealt with. We can do that in a number of way such as: Identifying bullying behaviors and creating consequences for them, teaching students to be upstanders, educating parents and students on the issue of bullying, monitoring them on social media and letting kids fail and learn from their mistakes.