EXT. leave me. DEREK: I’m sorry Sarah, but I’m

EXT. CHIPPEWA SQUARE, SAVANNAH – AFTERNOON
Charming teacher MS. SARAH DENNIS is arguing with optimistic gardener MR. DEREK STEVENS. SARAH tries to hug DEREK but he shakes her off.
SARAH:
Please, Derek, don’t leave me.
DEREK:
I’m sorry Sarah, but I’m looking for somebody a bit braver. Somebody who faces her fears head-on, instead of running away from them.
SARAH:
I am that person that you are looking for!
DEREK frowns.
DEREK:
I’m sorry, Sarah. I just don’t feel the same about this relationship anymore.
DEREK leaves.
SARAH sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, charming hairdresser MR. SIMON WHITE barges in looking flustered.
SARAH:
Goodness, Simon! Is everything okay?
SIMON:
I’m afraid not.
SARAH:
What is it? Don’t keep me in suspense…
SIMON:
It’s … a zombie … I saw an evil zombie frame a bunch of baby birds!
SARAH
Defenseless baby birds?
SIMON
Yes, defenseless baby birds!
SARAH
Bloomin’ heck, Simon! We’ve got to do something.
SIMON
I agree, but I wouldn’t know where to start.
SARAH
You can start by telling me where this happened.
SIMON
I was…
SIMON fans himself and begins to wheeze.
SARAH
Focus Simon, focus! Where did it happen?
SIMON
A Library! That’s right – A Library!
SARAH springs up and begins to run.

EXT. A ROAD – CONTINUOUS
SARAH rushes along the street, followed by SIMON. They take a shortcut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.

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INT. A LIBRARY – SHORTLY AFTER
GARY THOMAS a cowardly zombie terrorizes two baby birds.
SARAH, closely followed by SIMON, rushes towards GARY, but suddenly stops in her tracks.
SIMON:
What is it? What’s the matter?
SARAH:
That’s not just any old zombie, that’s Gary Thomas!
SIMON:
Who’s Gary Thomas?
SARAH:
Who’s Gary Thomas? Who’s Gary Thomas? Only the most cowardly zombie in the universe!
SIMON:
Blinkin’ knickers, Sarah! We’re going to need some help if we’re going to stop the most cowardly zombie in the universe!
SARAH:
You can say that again.
SIMON:
Blinkin’ knickers, Sarah! We’re going to need some help if we’re going to stop the most cowardly zombie in the universe!
SARAH:
I’m going to need arrows, lots of arrows.
Gary turns and sees Sarah and Simon. He grins an evil grin.
GARY:
Sarah Dennis, we meet again.
SIMON:
You’ve met?
SARAH:
Yes. It was a long, long time ago…

EXT. A PARK – BACK IN TIME
A young SARAH is sitting in a park listening to some R & B music when suddenly a dark shadow casts over her.
She looks up and sees GARY. She takes off her headphones.
GARY:
Would you like some chocolate?
SARAH’s eyes light up, but then he studies GARY more closely and looks uneasy.
SARAH:
I don’t know, you look kind of cowardly.
GARY:
Me? No. I’m not cowardly. I’m the least cowardly zombie in the world.
SARAH:
Wait, you’re a zombie?
SARAH runs away, screaming.

INT. A LIBRARY – PRESENT DAY
GARY:
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
SIMON:
(To SARAH) Did you run away?
SARAH:
(To SIMON) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
SARAH turns to GARY.
SARAH:
I may have run away from you then, but I won’t run away this time!
SARAH runs away.
She turns back and shouts.
SARAH:
I mean, I am running away, but I’ll be back – with arrows.
GARY:
I’m not scared of you.
SARAH:
You should be.

INT. HATFIELD HOUSE, ENGLAND – LATER THAT DAY
SARAH and SIMON walk around searching for something.
SARAH:
I feel sure I left my arrows somewhere around here.
SIMON:
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly arrows.
SARAH:
You know nothing, Simon White.
SIMON:
We’ve been searching for ages. I really don’t think they’re here.
Suddenly, GARY appears, holding a pair of arrows.
GARY:
Looking for something?
SIMON:
Crikey, Sarah, he’s got your arrows.
SARAH:
Tell me something I don’t already know!
SIMON:
The earth’s circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
SARAH:
I know that already!
SIMON:
I’m afraid of the dark.
GARY:
(appalled) Dude!
While GARY is looking at SIMON with disgust, SARAH lunges forward and grabs her deadly arrows. He wields them, triumphantly.
SARAH:
Prepare to die, you cowardly potato!
GARY:
No please! All I did was frame a bunch of baby birds!
DEREK enters, unseen by any of the others.
SARAH:
I cannot tolerate that kind of behavior! Those baby birds were defenseless! Well now they have a defender – and that’s me! Sarah Dennis defender of innocent baby birds.
GARY:
Don’t hurt me! Please!
SARAH:
Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t use these arrows to you right away!
GARY:
Because Sarah, I am your father.
SARAH looks stunned for a few moments but then collects herself.
SARAH:
No, you’re not!
GARY:
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
GARY tries to grab the arrows but SARAH dodges out of the way.
SARAH:
Who’s the daddy now? Huh? Huh?
Unexpectedly, GARY slumps to the ground.
SIMON:
Did he just faint?
SARAH:
I think so. Well, that’s disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly arrows.
SARAH crouches over GARY’s body.
SIMON:
Be careful, Sarah. It could be a trick.
SARAH:
No, it’s not a trick. It appears that… It would seem… Gary Thomas is dead!
SARAH:
What?
SARAH:
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.
SIMON claps his hands.
SIMON:
So your arrows did save the day, after all.
DEREK steps forward.
DEREK:
Is it true? Did you kill the cowardly zombie?
SARAH:
Derek how long have you been…?
DEREK puts his arm around Sarah.
DEREK:
Long enough.
SARAH:
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Gary Thomas.
DEREK:
Then the baby birds are safe?
SARAH:
It does seem that way!
A crowd of vulnerable baby birds enters, looking relieved.
DEREK:
You are their hero.
The baby birds bow to SARAH.
SARAH:
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Gary Thomas will never frame baby birds ever again, is enough for me.
DEREK:
You are humble as well as brave!
One of the baby birds passes SARAH a mystical bell
DEREK:
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
SARAH:
I couldn’t possibly.
Pause.
SARAH:
Well, if you insist.
SARAH takes the bell.
SARAH:
Thank you.
The baby birds bow their heads once more and leave.
SARAH turns to DEREK.
SARAH:
Does this mean you want me back?
DEREK:
Oh, Sarah, of course, I want you back!
SARAH smiles for a few seconds but then looks defiant.
SARAH:
Well, you can’t have me.
DEREK:
WHAT?
SARAH:
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a zombie to death before you would believe in me. I don’t want a lover like that.
DEREK:
But…
SARAH:
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin – my best friend, Simon.
SIMON grins.
DEREK:
But…
SIMON:
You heard the lady. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
DEREK:
Sarah?
SARAH:
I’m sorry Derek, but I think you should leave.
DEREK leaves.
SIMON turns to SARAH.
SIMON:
Did you mean that? You know … that I’m your best friend?
SARAH:
Of course, you are!
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly SIMON stops.
SIMON:
When I said I’m afraid of the dark, you know I was just trying to distract the zombie, don’t you?
THE END

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